Let's take a stroll down memory lane...
Saturday, April 14, 2012
We were "officially" hitched! I use the word officially with quotations because we were actually married legally the prior September. We don't "officially" count that as our wedding date, but it is technically our legal marriage date.
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Not even a week of being newly married and we were off to live in a foreign country. You could say that was our "honeymoon" lol.
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Quite a few folks told us that your first year of marriage is your hardest, and after that it's all down hill from there. Hmmm, that's actually ironic because the marriage aspect honestly wasn't all that difficult, it was the living so far from our families that really took its toll on both of us.
In the first year of marriage, I learned how to cook, clean, do laundry, hand wash dishes (thanks to no dishwasher,) learn to be very independent (my husband would work for sometimes 12 hours a day,) learn how to drive a manual vehicle, and...oh, learn how to cope with not seeing my family for an entire year. So in all honesty, I'd have to give myself huge kudos for a brand new married wife, who set out with her brand new husband to live in a foreign country, and not have "mommy and daddy" nearby for help.
In the second year of marriage, STILL living overseas, it was definitely easier coping without having our parental figures just an easy drive away. I gradually got used to being alone for hours on end, adding up the time change as to when I could call my mom, figuring out it took exactly 8 hours to complete (1) load of laundry from start to finish (thanks European washer and dryer!) and detect when a massive thunderstorm was bound to happen. My skin hardened, I became less fragile, and honestly much more bitter as I waited my time out in Europe. I hated cooking, cleaning, and above all, I missed my family.
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But this post wasn't to dwell on the past. Sure, maybe our first few years of marriage weren't sunshine and rainbows. We had each other. We confided into each other. If we ever had quarrels, we worked them out together. Because "mommy and daddy" weren't just a phone call away all the time. And obviously they weren't a car ride away. So staying mad at one another just wasn't an option. We were basically all each other had, plus our kitties.
I think one of the biggest things I learned about myself while "living abroad" was I really, really don't like being alone for long periods of time. And by long periods I mean days. I can go for a day or so being by myself, without any human interaction. But after that and I start going crazy.
So what exactly have I learned in three years of marriage?
- A happy wife=a happy life, lol
- A clean kitchen=a happy husband
- At least making something somewhat edible=a happy husband
- Learning to deal with your anxiety and not showing you're stressed, makes your partner less stressed
- Having a bedtime routine
- Taking turns feeding/caring for your pets
- Apologizing for even the smallest things that may have hurt your partner's feelings
- Having dinner together, sitting together=a more enjoyable dinner time
- Putting your clothes in the laundry hamper and not beside it
- Sending texts throughout the day asking how each other is doing
- Calling when at the grocery store to ask if they need anything else
These are what's came to mind right now. And yes, the more years I've been married, the easier it's gotten. Especially since my husband and I have gone through quite the large amount of ups and downs...not particularly between us, but the things around us.
I feel since our lives have changed dramatically over the past week, with our kitty's diagnosis, and really taking time out for her, it has brought us closer as a couple.
I've heard people say when certain situations go wrong, it either tears a couple apart, or brings them closer together.
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