First Day of Summer and Feeling Like I'm Being Punished

Happy first day of Summer 2014 yo!

I am ever so happy to get into the warmer weather here in Italy after the horrendous months of numb to the bone fingers and toes, and wrapped up in 3 layers of clothing plus more blankets. That was not fun. The reason why we chose not to turn on our heat you ask? Because we were not going to be paying those lovely $1,300 heating bills every 3 months! So, while basically everyone else here in Italy turned up the heat and paid outrageous bills, we chose to freeze in a 53* F house. Yep, we suffered.

So now you understand why I'm more than ever ecstatic about having warmer weather again! Although in Northeastern Italy it's muggy and humid, I'd rather be sticky and hot than miserable and chilled to the bone any day!

So now onto the other other part of the title. Why do I feel like I'm being punished? This topic has sprinkled itself many times in my blog, but I want to talk about it some more. I feel like I'm being punished more times over none because I don't have children. Don't get me wrong, being a mother is one of the hardest, if not the hardest job on this Earth, but why should the women that do not have children (me) feel like I'm being punished because I'm choosing not to bring another human being into this world?

I work hard too. My work may not be a labor intensive or need the patience that being a mom needs, but that doesn't mean that the non-moms just sit back on their tushes doing jack nothing.

I will admit being here in Italy has created more than enough time for me to self-reflect and actually find myself. I can say I'm no longer in a "mind fog" where I'm multi-taking to the world's end anymore. I just hate when people ask me "What do you do with all your time since you don't work, you don't go to school, and you have no children?" "I would go absolutely insane!"

Well, if you haven't lived in my shoes then you wouldn't know that I have gone insane here and became mildly depressed because I wasn't able to accomplish everything that I set my mind to while living overseas. I said it once and I'll say it again. Living abroad isn't everything it's cracked up to be. Especially if you're an ambitious person like myself. There are many drawbacks to my career field and my lifestyle.

So back onto the subject because once again I've gone off kilter! Since this base is swarming with more parents of children than there are of just couples, it's hard to find friends who are childless like myself. But I have managed to find a few hiding in the corners here. That's what the childless wives mostly do. We keep to ourselves.

I just feel I'm at a disadvantage once again with my life and because I've chosen the no kid path. I hate when people think it's the end of the world because I don't feel stable enough to raise a human. I know I have my husband to help me, but let's be honest, I can barely take care of our cats. And I love them to the moon and back. So what would make a child any different?

I realize it's my choice. But this choice shouldn't have the consequences of having heads turned and looked down upon because I feel like I should have a say in something or receive gratification for a well-done job I completed. I feel that moms get so much more gratification on the exact same thing because they also had to look after a child. It's called multi-tasking and we as women are supposed to have that capability.

So to all the moms out there. I give you all a huge high-five that you can take care of your children as well as accomplishing daily chores/tasks. Because apparently all of my accomplishments aren't worth a CENT because I haven't gotten on board the mommy train.

The Dream that's becoming a Reality!

Hello again!

If you've been keeping up with my blog posts you have undoubtedly read where we'll be headed to next in this crazy military life we're currently living at the moment. If this is your first time reading a post from my blog have no fear, I will inform you all our next base we'll be headed to is Mountain Home Air Force Base in Idaho. Yep we're traveling half-way around the world back to the good ole' You Ess of Aye (USA) and living among English-speaking locals again (thank goodness.)

No joke, I have been counting down the months until we are out of this place. Sorry to all those who have dreamed of living in Italy. Coming from a gal who's lived here going on two and half years, the picture created in many people's minds of "Hollywood-zed" Italy is just really that. It's honestly not as awesome as in the pictures. Then again I'm living in Northern Italy, so maybe all the hype is in the Southern tip. Don't know and honestly don't care. I'm just ready to get the flock out of here.

So as the months have dwindled down to just a few, I'm getting more and more excited. My dream of re starting my home-based business again, finally finishing school, and being able to work on the economy again are things I've loathed since finding out all my ambitions were pretty much crushed because I'm an American citizen dependent. Italy is definitely not for the ambitious, career-driven type of women. Once again, sorry to all those who have dreamed of living in Italy.

I guess I have to say I'm very glad my significant other, my husband is right along with me. He acknowledges and understands how difficult this stay-at-home housewife/homemaker status is taking its toll on me. Because when we were dating I was a very driven, almost college grad, work-a-holic, volunteered my time sorta gal. And now having bottom loads of free time that's completely driving me crazy (and NO I will not be having children to fill in the free time thank you very much!) I've been watching a ton of YouTube tutorials, blogging, taking pictures, and watching Netflix. Because there's really NOTHING to do!

I also dream. I dream about our future life in Idaho. I dream about our American style house. With closets. I dream about working again and going back to college to finish my degree. I dream about having some chickens and getting back into farming. I dream about volunteering with 4-H again.

But most of all I dream about being close to my family again. I miss them more and more each day, and it breaks my heart at times when I can't be there for a special moment on the farm.

I realize this is the life of a military spouse, so I've got to pull up my big girl panties and just deal with it. Which I have the past 2 1/2 years. Now it's my turn to live my life the way I want to live it as a married woman. So look out Idaho come this fall because we're going to be coming your way!